I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You
© Harper Bliss
CHAPTER ONE
“To his credit,” Dakota said, “he did ask if I had an orgasm.”
Head tilted, bangs covering half an eye, Jamie just shrugged. She was probably tired of Dakota telling the same old story over and over again.
“It’s such a shame. He was really cute.” Maybe Dakota should berate herself for having high hopes every time she went on a date, but she didn’t. She believed in love, damn it. What else was she going to believe in?
“Maybe you shouldn’t have put out on the first date,” Mac said.
“I firmly disagree.” Dakota fixed her gaze on her neighbor. “We had obvious chemistry. He was clearly into me and vice versa. Sadly, he failed where many other men have failed before him. Or maybe it’s just me, you know? Maybe I’m the problem.”
“You’re not the problem,” Jamie insisted.
“How do you know?”
Jamie and Mac were an absolute dream couple. Dakota had become friends with them when she’d renovated their house, which they were sitting in right now. Coming here was a real professional thrill because she could enjoy the fruits of her labor while spending time with her friends—and getting dating advice.
Jamie shrugged again, as though Dakota’s question didn’t merit an answer.
“From what I hear, because of all these apps, the straight dating world is a real minefield,” Mac said. “I hope you don’t feel too much pressure to sleep with a man on the first date because it’s what they’ve come to expect.”
Dakota shook her head. “Trust me, I can withstand whatever pressure there might be. I so wanted to get it on with this guy but then, once we were in bed, it was just the same old wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am again.”
“You should have given him a copy of She Comes First.” Jamie chuckled at her own joke.
“I’m sure that would have gone down well.” Mac grinned at her wife.
“I don’t mean to sound blasé,” Jamie said, “but do you know who doesn’t have this problem?”
“Oh, babe, no.” Mac actually groaned. “Don’t say it.”
“But it’s true.” Jamie’s voice went up a pitch.
“It’s okay, ladies. You don’t have to spell it out for me. I’m well aware that the orgasm frequency among same-sex couples is infinitely higher than among heterosexual ones. I read the New York Times as well.” It seemed a popular topic to cover in long essays in the weekend supplement of many a newspaper. Fat load of good it did Dakota. All she could do was be happy for those around her. For Jamie and Mac. For her next-door neighbors, Izzy and Leila. And her ex-husband, Chase, and his male partner. Dakota was surrounded by sexually satisfied same-sex couples. Maybe she should hang out with her straight girlfriends more. Or maybe she should move out of the house she shared with Chase and Corey and leave the street she lived on with all these lesbians and their superior sex lives.
“Maybe you should give it a try,” Jamie said matter-of-factly.
“Try what?” Was she—rather casually—suggesting Dakota go on a date with a woman? Just like that?
“Swipe for a lady instead of a man.” What started as a small smile on Jamie’s face quickly turned into a wicked grin.
“Babe, come on.” Mac elbowed her wife in the biceps. “Don’t be silly. Would you ever swipe for a man?”
“I don’t need to swipe for anyone, let alone a man.”
“If you were in Dakota’s position,” Mac urged.
Even though it wasn’t helpful, it was amusing to watch Jamie and Mac go through their spiel. Dakota had only popped in for some much-needed venting, not for this kind of foolishness.
“I’m just kidding.” Jamie winked at Dakota. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Maybe I should.” Dakota surprised herself. “The last thing I feel like doing is opening Tinder and scrolling through an endless list of mediocre men again, setting myself up for more disappointment. It’s either swipe for a lady or take a break.”
“Take a break.” Mac nodded at Dakota. “That’s probably the best idea.”
“I say go for it.” Jamie perked up. “Provided you’re completely honest about your intentions, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“She could break a poor lesbian’s heart,” Mac said.
Dakota chuckled. Not at the prospect of ‘breaking a poor lesbian’s heart’, but because of the absurdity of the conversation. “What would my intentions be exactly?” she asked.
“Pleasurable sex with another person,” Jamie said. “Isn’t that what ninety-nine percent of men use the app for? So why can’t you?”
“Because I’m a woman?” Dakota offered.
“Why don’t we just have a look?” Jamie raised her eyebrows so high they disappeared under her bangs. She rubbed her hands together. “See what’s out there?”
“That sounded a little too keen, babe.” Mac slung an arm around Jamie’s shoulder.
“Aren’t you curious?” Jamie looked her wife in the eye.
Maybe they were turning this into foreplay for what would no doubt be an extremely pleasurable night of passion later. The kind of night Dakota would like for herself—the kind of night, if she were completely honest, she’d been fruitlessly chasing for too long.
