PREVIEW & OUT NOW: I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You

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I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You is NOW available from my web shop! (Other retailers will follow on 17 January 2024).

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Here’s a preview. Enjoy!

I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You
© Harper Bliss

CHAPTER ONE

“To his credit,” Dakota said, “he did ask if I had an orgasm.”

Head tilted, bangs covering half an eye, Jamie just shrugged. She was probably tired of Dakota telling the same old story over and over again.

“It’s such a shame. He was really cute.” Maybe Dakota should berate herself for having high hopes every time she went on a date, but she didn’t. She believed in love, damn it. What else was she going to believe in?

“Maybe you shouldn’t have put out on the first date,” Mac said.

“I firmly disagree.” Dakota fixed her gaze on her neighbor. “We had obvious chemistry. He was clearly into me and vice versa. Sadly, he failed where many other men have failed before him. Or maybe it’s just me, you know? Maybe I’m the problem.”

“You’re not the problem,” Jamie insisted.

“How do you know?”

Jamie and Mac were an absolute dream couple. Dakota had become friends with them when she’d renovated their house, which they were sitting in right now. Coming here was a real professional thrill because she could enjoy the fruits of her labor while spending time with her friends—and getting dating advice.

Jamie shrugged again, as though Dakota’s question didn’t merit an answer.

“From what I hear, because of all these apps, the straight dating world is a real minefield,” Mac said. “I hope you don’t feel too much pressure to sleep with a man on the first date because it’s what they’ve come to expect.”

Dakota shook her head. “Trust me, I can withstand whatever pressure there might be. I so wanted to get it on with this guy but then, once we were in bed, it was just the same old wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am again.”

“You should have given him a copy of She Comes First.” Jamie chuckled at her own joke.

“I’m sure that would have gone down well.” Mac grinned at her wife.

“I don’t mean to sound blasé,” Jamie said, “but do you know who doesn’t have this problem?”

“Oh, babe, no.” Mac actually groaned. “Don’t say it.”

“But it’s true.” Jamie’s voice went up a pitch.

“It’s okay, ladies. You don’t have to spell it out for me. I’m well aware that the orgasm frequency among same-sex couples is infinitely higher than among heterosexual ones. I read the New York Times as well.” It seemed a popular topic to cover in long essays in the weekend supplement of many a newspaper. Fat load of good it did Dakota. All she could do was be happy for those around her. For Jamie and Mac. For her next-door neighbors, Izzy and Leila. And her ex-husband, Chase, and his male partner. Dakota was surrounded by sexually satisfied same-sex couples. Maybe she should hang out with her straight girlfriends more. Or maybe she should move out of the house she shared with Chase and Corey and leave the street she lived on with all these lesbians and their superior sex lives.

“Maybe you should give it a try,” Jamie said matter-of-factly.

“Try what?” Was she—rather casually—suggesting Dakota go on a date with a woman? Just like that?

“Swipe for a lady instead of a man.” What started as a small smile on Jamie’s face quickly turned into a wicked grin.

“Babe, come on.” Mac elbowed her wife in the biceps. “Don’t be silly. Would you ever swipe for a man?”

“I don’t need to swipe for anyone, let alone a man.”

“If you were in Dakota’s position,” Mac urged.

Even though it wasn’t helpful, it was amusing to watch Jamie and Mac go through their spiel. Dakota had only popped in for some much-needed venting, not for this kind of foolishness.

“I’m just kidding.” Jamie winked at Dakota. “You know that, don’t you?”

“Maybe I should.” Dakota surprised herself. “The last thing I feel like doing is opening Tinder and scrolling through an endless list of mediocre men again, setting myself up for more disappointment. It’s either swipe for a lady or take a break.”

“Take a break.” Mac nodded at Dakota. “That’s probably the best idea.”

“I say go for it.” Jamie perked up. “Provided you’re completely honest about your intentions, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could break a poor lesbian’s heart,” Mac said.

Dakota chuckled. Not at the prospect of ‘breaking a poor lesbian’s heart’, but because of the absurdity of the conversation. “What would my intentions be exactly?” she asked.

“Pleasurable sex with another person,” Jamie said. “Isn’t that what ninety-nine percent of men use the app for? So why can’t you?”

“Because I’m a woman?” Dakota offered.

“Why don’t we just have a look?” Jamie raised her eyebrows so high they disappeared under her bangs. She rubbed her hands together. “See what’s out there?”

“That sounded a little too keen, babe.” Mac slung an arm around Jamie’s shoulder.

“Aren’t you curious?” Jamie looked her wife in the eye.

Maybe they were turning this into foreplay for what would no doubt be an extremely pleasurable night of passion later. The kind of night Dakota would like for herself—the kind of night, if she were completely honest, she’d been fruitlessly chasing for too long.

* * *

“Are you on Tinder again?” Nico asked Jack. “I need your eyes on that door, partner.”

Jack gave Nico an eyeroll instead. The hours she’d given to this job and he was telling her off for some innocent scrolling during down time?

“You can take your own Tinder break when I’m done,” Jack replied.

“I don’t need a Tinder break.” Nico also took his eyes off the door they were watching.

This stakeout was probably a dud, anyway. Jack felt it in her bones. The guy they were after wasn’t going to show up tonight. She just knew it.

“But I get it’s intimidating spending so much time with a happily married man,” Nico added.

“A phone break then, to look at pictures of that lovely wife of yours.” Nico had been Jack’s partner for almost three years and she still found it hard to believe he had a family. She’d often been a guest at his and Lorna’s house and every time she left feeling uneasy, convinced that their kind of marital bliss was some sort of ruse—the kind of happiness not possible for an officer of the NYPD.

“You and your Tinder, tsk. I’ll never get it.”

Tinder worked just fine for Jack. Her eyes grew wide. Holy moly. Tinder was working really well for her right about now.

Jack whistled to get Nico’s attention. “Maybe you’ll get this.” She showed him her phone screen.

“Yeah.” Very dramatically, Nico puffed out some air. “I get that.” He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Forget it, Russo. That woman is way out of your league.”

“We’ll see about that.” Jack couldn’t swipe right fast enough. She’d soon find out if this gorgeous woman had done the same for her or not.

“She’s probably some model they’ve hired to boost their algorithm,” Nico said, as though he was suddenly a Tinder expert.

“In that case, I’m about to private message a model.” Jack showed Nico her screen again. It’s a match, it said.

“Wonders never cease.” Nico winked at her. “Good luck to you and your model, partner.”

“There are many stages between a match and a date.” Jack’s heart did a crazy pitter-patter. Nico was probably right about one thing: regardless of the match, the woman in that picture was out of her league. But if years on Tinder had taught Jack one thing, it was that there’s nothing more deceiving than a profile picture on a dating app. This woman, Nessie was her Tinder name, probably had a degree in Photoshop. Nevertheless, Jack was thrilled. She wanted to message Nessie immediately but she had some professional courtesy left. She wasn’t going to do that while on a stakeout with Nico. It gave her something to look forward to tonight other than watching reruns of unrealistic cop shows on TV.

* * *

The black-and-white picture portrayed a woman with brooding, smoky eyes. She cast a sidelong glance into the lens, her shoulder-length dark hair falling gracefully onto a crisp white shirt.

“Not bad,” Dakota said.

“I’m more than pleasantly surprised with what’s on offer,” Jamie said.

“All of this is so superficial,” Mac said, but her tone betrayed a hint of glee at the proceedings. “It’s just a picture. What can you actually tell from just a picture?”

“Well.” Jamie examined the picture they had swiped right on a few moments earlier. “She’s pretty hot.”

“The woman in that picture is hot. I’ll give you that.” Mac took the phone from Jamie and glared at it. “Excellent hair. Sultry eyes. Sure. But is it real?”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Jamie held out her hand for the phone. Mac gave it back to her. Then Jamie gave it to Dakota. “Send her a message.”

“I never message first.” Dakota never had to. The profile picture she used on Tinder drove men crazy. Her blue eyes sparkling. Her blond hair combed back. Just the right amount of tantalizing cleavage.

“It might be different with a woman, and isn’t that the whole point of this experiment?” Jamie said.

Dakota stared at her phone. Excitement and trepidation were doing a funny little dance inside her. What the hell was she doing? Sure, dating men had been a succession of letdowns. But maybe she’d just been unlucky. Maybe her profile picture attracted the wrong kind of guy. Maybe how she looked stood in the way of her getting what she actually wanted. But what was it that she wanted, anyway? As if what Jamie had suggested was even possible. As if all Dakota had to do was change her gender preference to female on a dating app and great sex would no longer be a memory from a distant past. Yeah right. If only life were that simple.

With a shake of the head, Dakota put her phone on the table. “Let’s forget about it, okay? I’m a mother, for crying out loud.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Jamie fixed her gaze on Dakota.

“My kids are already dealing with their dad being married to a man. I can’t start dating women as an experiment.” Never mind that Dakota’s daughters had handled their father’s new love interest a whole lot better than she had.

“Just my two cents,” Mac interjected. “If you were to go on a date with a woman, don’t tell her she’s an experiment.”

“But it is an experiment. That’s what Jamie just literally called it.” Dakota was over it already.

“And don’t drag your kids into this,” Jamie said, ignoring Dakota’s last comment. “They’ve got nothing to do with this.”

Peyton and Aubrey were at an age where they couldn’t care less who their mother was or wasn’t dating. Thirteen-year-old girls had so many other things to occupy their volatile little minds. Dakota experienced that every single day. Jamie was right. Her girls had nothing to do with this.

“How about I just wait until she—” Dakota checked her phone screen. “Until J.R. messages me and I’ll take it from there.”

“It’s your call,” Jamie acquiesced. “It’s your love life.”

“But do keep us up-to-date of any developments.” Mac beamed her a smile. When Dakota had started working with them on their house—after Leila had recommended her architectural services—Jamie and Mac had shared the story of how they’d got together. Just like Dakota and Chase, they’d met in college, at that age when anything still seemed possible. Also, just like her and Chase, Jamie and Mac had broken up in their early thirties, albeit for very different reasons. But now, they were both in their fifties and crazy about each other. Life had brought them back together. That was never going to happen for Dakota and Chase, who was married to Corey now.

“I suppose I can take the first step.” Dakota went into Tinder’s message dashboard and started typing.

Nice to meet you, she sent to her match. Then she waited.

<<End of preview>>

I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You is NOW available from my web shop! (Other retailers will follow on 17 January 2024).